20 Years of Friendship

20 years of friendship. I remember the first time I met each member of my college barkada (circle of friends). It was during freshman year orientation, with most of us coming from the same homeroom or the same course. We were all strangers but gravitated towards each other naturally. We were all a little nerdy, a little bit geeky, a little bit sarcastic. We all shared the same humor. We loved the same songs. Within a month, our group was formed.  Who would’ve thought that in June 1994, this band of guys and girls would stay strong and connected through 20 years. It’s a beautiful blessing.

We had our fights. Little spats here and there. Little annoyances. Common enemies. Hearts broken. But we’ve also had hearts mended. Little joys. Breakthroughs. Group hugs. College was a fantastic experience for me, and this group of lovely souls made it so memorable.

They made me question a lot of things. One lesson that has imprinted in my mind is a line from one of my friends: “Don’t be a spoke on someone else’s wheel.” It was a letter I got from her, after sharing her concern that my then-boyfriend and I were becoming too co-dependent. There was super truth in that. Of course then I couldn’t see it, and it was only when we broke up that I understood what my friend was trying to tell me. So in future relationships, I applied that life lesson.

Image from Living on Love and Cents

They were there for me no matter what. After college, I remember one time my heart was really broken. I was dumped by this guy, or this guy led me on… I can’t remember the details, but I do remember I was really depressed. A few of them showed up unannounced to comfort me. And they were just there. Quietly seated beside me. Quietly listening to my heartbroken lamentations. I don’t remember what I said, but I remember their presence.

So many memories. I’m just seated here in front of the laptop and memories keep flooding in. How we’d sit together at the library’s steps and play a game of Scrabble in between classes. The time we snuck back into school after hours and watched the stars while lying in the field. The first night we all got drunk together. Our first out-of-town trip as a group.

This has sort of happened. Image from Pinterest.

20 years later

The last time we got together, we weren’t complete. Some were out of the country or in the province. Here’s part of our college barkada during our Christmas lunch:

Back row: Karen with Angie’s baby, Jon (Karen’s husband), Rowie, myself | Front row: Angie, Ganns, Paulo, Amy (Paulo’s wife)

We missed the friends who weren’t with us, but we’re confident we’ll regroup and be complete!

Another thing we got a laugh out of was pictures of old times. Here’s one of Anj, Karen, Rowie and me from years ago (I’m guessing 2004?) and one ten years later.

We’ve changed so much and stayed the same somehow. We still love each other, changes and all. I guess that’s what real friendship is about.

I’m 37 years old. I’ve had my share of friends, and I have noticed that some we just naturally fall out of friendship with, and with some, the friendship stays strong. It’s normal and natural. I used to beat myself up about it, but have accepted that’s how it is. It makes me happy that my group of college friends is a “friends for a lifetime” kind of friendship.

Image from Pinterest

I’m confident we’ll stay in touch. But it helps to say a prayer for it too.

Image from ClickyPix

 (I love you LHC! Here’s to 20 years of love and more!)

Hi! I'm Toni Tiu, and I've been blogging at at Wifely Steps since 2003. This started as a blog to help newly weds adjust to married life. It has evolved into a home and parenting blog. I write about things close to my heart -- good eats, good reads, family, marriage, and the little things that make everyday happy.