Parenting tips from Charles Dickens, why not?
A quote any parent can relate to.
What’s a parenting tip that touched your heart?
The above quote from Charles Dickens resonated with me. When you’re dealing with a little boy who’s so full of energy and beginning to assert his independence, your patience can be tried many, many times. I’m pretty much relaxed as a parent, but lately I’ve been putting my foot down more and more.
I’ve always known that being firm is a big part of parenting. I just didn’t expect it would be so difficult.
When my son misbehaves, we go to a Time Out room. It’s usually the bathroom where I give him a firm talk on what he did and didn’t do respectfully. Sometimes I think he doesn’t understand what he’s still doing because he’s a child, but more and more I see that he’s become aware of his actions. He’s just testing his (or my) limits. All a part of growing up.
Time-out session in the bathroom because he shouted at me
Me: Do you know why we’re having a time-out?
Me: Why are we here?
Timmy: (sadly) Shout.
What incident that was, I can’t even recall. Maybe he shouted at me because he didn’t get what he wanted. What I do remember is that quiet talk we had in the bathroom, and how I realized that he does know what he’s doing.
The onus is on the parents though, I realize again, to handle this with grace.
It’s so easy to scream and shout back, to scold the child until he’s scared silly. You fool yourself though that he won’t do it again — because he will, in one form or another!
So far, taking a deep breath, counting to ten and saying a prayer have been working for me. I have raised my voice, especially in the most trying of times. I’m not perfect. I feel bad when I do it. I’m trying not to shout though. But I do have a heart that doesn’t harden, a temper that (almost) doesn’t tire, a touch that doesn’t hurt. It’s just taking me longer and longer to count to ten till my temper tempers down. But patience always pays off.
So my parenting tip, inspired by the above quote, is this:
Parent with grace.
I tell my son when he’s being rowdy: “Gentle hands please!” or “Gentle voice!” I tell myself the same things when I’m being tested. Gentle hands, Mommy. Gentle voice, Mommy. Grace, Mommy, grace.
It’s tough, really tough, but I wouldn’t trade parenting for any other responsibility in the world.
What are your parenting tips? When were times you felt you were being tested? Come share and let’s talk about it. You’re not alone!
Photo credit: Postris
Michelle PadrelananSeptember 10, 2013 at 9:30 am (10 years ago)
Love the quote “Parent with grace”. We all need that – the grace of God in our lives. Sometimes, I admit to forgetting that God is gracious enough to forgive us and give us plenty of chances when we make mistakes. Our children need as much grace as we can give them. Just take deep breaths…
ToniSeptember 10, 2013 at 9:38 am (10 years ago)
Hi Michelle! So good to hear from you. With God’s grace, right?
I talk to Mama Mary sometimes. Mama Mary, teach me to be patient like you.
It’s so hard talaga sometimes! But better to be extra patient than blow our tops. Losing our temper may make us feel better temporarily, but can scar the little ones permanently.
So yes, grace is the lighthouse of my parenting style.
Ma. Teresa Grech Quiatchon RacalSeptember 10, 2013 at 2:38 pm (10 years ago)
As I was reading this, I thought I am the only who really shout (scream) when I am at the edge of it all. As you’ve said, I am too is human. As a mother of 3 girls, one rule may not apply to all, especially to my youngest. Hahaha! Special mention talaga yung bunso ko. She really sucks all the patience I have. hahaha! This is why, with her, especially if I am about to scream my head out, I usually tell her, PLEASE ALIS KA MUNA, go inside, I am definitely angry already. I know she knows very well that she did something wrong. And, usually at night, before we sleep, I usually tell her PLEASE BE A GOOD GIRL NA HA, MOM IS TIRED NA TALAGA… and she will say naman YES MOM, I LOVE YOU MOM… so tell me, how can I stay angry with her pag at the end of the conversation may ganung I LOVE YOU MOM. hahaha!
ToniSeptember 23, 2013 at 2:42 pm (10 years ago)
Patience talaga ang kailangan ng mga nanay. 😀 Natural lang naman mag-init ang ulo! Basta we control it diba? 😉
FayeSeptember 11, 2013 at 6:14 am (10 years ago)
I love that quote you shared. Easy to remember but is a great reminder especially when you’re on the verge of a meltdown. Thanks Toni for sharing this.
ToniSeptember 23, 2013 at 12:34 pm (10 years ago)
You’re very much welcome, Faye.