As part of our 7th wedding anniversary, and in a way, this blog’s 7th anniversary as well, I’ve invited some of my friends to write about their own wifely steps. This is the sixth in a series of guest posts. Let’s check out Candice’s wifely steps.
We don’t celebrate our anniversaries. We’ve been married for almost five years and we always, ALWAYS forget to celebrate. As much as we love the day that we met and the day we hooked up, we forget to celebrate those either.
Once in a while, I egg my husband to take me out on an anniversary treat. Or tell him what I’d like as a special gift. But soon after, I forget about it even quicker than he does. What an odd couple we make, it seems.
It has nothing to do with a lack of romance or idealism. It is nothing about shunning traditions or rituals.
I guess we do things a little differently. To begin with, we’re not very good with structure or parameters. Our sleeping hours are a good example. He sleeps well into the morning when I’m already up and about tending to our son.
There’s no rush to be together as dawn breaks, I suppose. Once awake, we spend most of the day together – we lunch, we work, we play with our child. We think about dinner and decompressing at the end of the day.
Because we both work from home, we indulge in all the extras: hugs and cuddles, chatting during the day, sharing stories.
If anything, we make plans to get away from each other. Every week, he goes off to see his friends, play guitar and go home in the wee hours of the morning exhilarated and excited to recount his latest musical feats. I make it a point to see my friends, have my frozen margaritas, or even just spend hours at a nail salon, alone and quiet.
In many ways, our busy days take a lot from us. Admittedly, cabin fever can set in and there is great effort to temper the irritability that’s simmering and threatening to explode. But then, the busy days also give us other reasons to celebrate. Anything can be a milestone, a triumph, something to commemorate: the end of a project, the beginning of summer, a return from a trip, a successful home project, the season finale of a favorite TV series, an early and fuss-free bedtime for our son.
And any chance can be a time for presents and treats. Building our lives together, as partners and spouses, we feel very proud of what we have achieved thus far and make sure we get our rewards. So maybe tonight, I get my favorite frozen yogurt, tomorrow’s surprise is more songs for Beatles Rockband, and next week – a swim at the pool.
Not to say that I wouldn’t be extremely happy to find some lovely tray of breakfast when I wake up on a special anniversary day or receive a well-prepared itinerary for an out-of-town romantic destination. Nor am I discounting the possibility that one day, the concept of chocolate and flowers will materialize to commemorate our love for each other. Then again, it’s probably because my husband knows better – I’d get my chocolate fix anytime anyway and I’d probably forget to put the flowers in water. Instead, I get the chance to hear the words “Go get yourself a pretty dress” and feel myself blush with pleasure. And that, I tell you, is something I’m glad isn’t just limited to special anniversaries.
Stay-at-home, working mom Candice Lopez-Quimpo is the editor of a parenting website, works on videos with her husband and opines a lot on Twitter. When she remembers to, she blogs about life with her son Matthew and dreams out loud on Tumblr.