This first appeared on Make It Blissful. Sharing it with the Wifely Steps community too.
Control is present in our days more than we think. There’s the to-do list, a calendar of activities, even the clothes laid out the night before. Planning gives me a structure to my day which, truthfully, keeps me sane. That’s why when things don’t go my way, I get easily frustrated. Can you relate to this feeling?
I’ve been learning the past weeks how beautiful surrender can be. I’ve come to accept that while I can plan all I want, I won’t get my way all the time. Plus, I miss out on the element of surprise when I submit to rigidity. Being strict about timings and plans can make for efficiency in some parts of life, but frankly it helps to be more flexible, and yes, to surrender.
Surrendering doesn’t mean blind submission to whatever comes your way. Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up or giving in. These ARE the typical definitions of surrender. There is, however, an even more beautiful perspective to surrender.
What is the beauty of surrender?
It is learning to trust more.
A Beautiful Surprise
“Timmy needs to get his ID picture taken,” I told my husband, as I prepared for a workshop I was attending. It fell on a Sunday, the typical day when we would do our shopping and chores. “You should take him to Ever since it’s closer to home. Plus he needs new slippers for school. And we need to buy his school snacks for the week.”
“Sure, Wifey,” my husband replied. “I’ll take him to Greenhills.”
“No, Husby,” I contested. “Ever. So that it’s closer to home.”
My husband stayed quiet. “I’ll see.”
I was so frustrated with the conversation because I FELT I was right. Yes, it is ego talking when you refuse to trust the other person. I quieted down after our short chat and said, “Okay Husby, you take care of it.”
When he picked me up from my workshop, he showed me the cute ID pictures of our son. He also said that he got the groceries done, plus he got new slippers for our boy. Not only that, he met up with the grandparents so they could all spend quality time together. Where did all this happen? In Greenhills.
Surrendering means trusting another person to get the task done his or her own way. Each of us, after all, has our own approach. This applies to all our relationships – from home to work. When I opened myself up to what other people can accomplish, I was amazed with how much I learned form them. I was also amazed with how surrendering myself to trust others strengthened my relationships.
How to Surrender Beautifully
I’ve learned three beautifully blissful ways to surrender.
Trust that others can get the job done too. You may be the lead in a project, but with great leadership comes genuine trust and confidence in your team. You can guide them. You can nurture them. Always remember though that a leader helps her team grow too. I’ve had difficulty delegating work in the past, and I paid the price for it – unneeded stress! Trust that others can help you. Trust that others can contribute beautifully to the project goal.
2. Encourage independence.
This is especially true for parent-child relationships. I would very much like to literally spoon-feed my child so he can eat more, but he needs to learn the proper way of holding his fork and spoon to eat better. It takes a lot of practice, but I trust that he will learn on his own! (After all, didn’t we all?)
3. Commit to the trusting process.
When I am having trouble surrendering, I close my eyes, take a deep breath and exhale. This method of grounding myself helps me become more open to the possibilities before me. It also reminds me that there’s a plan much bigger than my own.
The Benefit of Surrendering
“With great power comes great responsibility”, a famous comic book line goes. I will tweak that a little bit and share that “With great TRUST comes great responsibility.” When you trust another person, you are giving him the chance to be as responsible as he can be. The same applies to us. When people trust us, don’t we do our best not to betray that trust? Don’t we become very much responsible? We commit to excellence not only because of the standards we have set for ourselves, but because other people are counting on us to see the task through successfully. We become committed to responsibility.
So take a deep breath, relax, and surrender. The world will become a better place if we trusted each other more. This is the beauty of surrender.