Walking on Stars

by

Walking on Stars

I was in a major funk a few weeks back. Work was just amazingly crazy, with projects overlapping and pulling me in all directions. Going home late became the norm. Eating lunch at my desk (if I could eat lunch at all) was standard. It took a toll on my well-being. I was going about mechanically, but my heart wasn’t in it anymore. I was just so tired.

Was I doing what I really wanted to do in life? Why wasn’t I walking on stars? I felt like my feet were dragging me lower and slower.

One morning, I noticed a piece of paper was sticking out of my bag’s pocket. It was a prayer we had picked out from a jar of prayers at the chapel a few weekends back. My son had picked it out for me randomly. I unrolled the piece of paper and began reading. The prayer grounded me.

Come from love

Let the loving begin with me. The words pierced my heart as I read it. “Bless me with a compassionate heart.” “Let the loving begin with me.” I was reminded of my LEAP days, when we would be encouraged to always come from love no matter what we do. It’s a challenge, really, especially when you’re just so drained. But that prayer boosted my energy and I felt infinitely better. I was ready to claim love and compassion. I was ready to face the workday with a heart full of love, not hatred or misery. However heavy the load that day would be, I knew I could conquer it for as long as I came from love.

I also did another thing to ground myself. I took a break and turned to writing.

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Working hard is great, especially if it puts food on the table. But focusing your energies on just work can be especially draining. I’m thankful for the writing assignments I have with POC, as they always serve to challenge me creatively and calm me at the same time.

I also made time to read again. It’s been over a month since I picked up a book. The break from gadgets and from reading only work-related stuff rejuvenated me. This book by Carolyn Meyer was especially lovely.

Reading

And then of course there’s family. My love. My center. My anchor.

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Slowly, I’m beginning to feel “normal” again. Normal in the sense that I get to be happy with different parts of my life. The funk I was in was really draining and disheartening. But now I can say I’m walking on stars again — moving towards something lovely, bigger and more promising, and happy while on that journey.

What do you do when you’re stuck in a rut? What or who do you turn to?

 

 

 

4 Comments on Walking on Stars

  1. Mica
    October 21, 2015 at 1:23 am (2 years ago)

    Just wanted to say hi,Toni! I visit your site every so often. I love this post bec it resonates with me esp today while sick in bed haha. There’s nothing like kids to bring on the love and inspiration, and the germs too :p

    Reply
    • Toni
      October 26, 2015 at 3:56 pm (2 years ago)

      Hi Mica! Thanks so much for leaving a comment. I hope you’re feeling much better now!! Please do drop by again and leave a comment. :) Would love to keep the conversation going!

      Reply
  2. ceemee
    November 1, 2015 at 10:58 am (1 year ago)

    There are indeed times when I feel like what I do doesn’t matter, like I have lost my purpose. I turn to God and His Word, which I should do more often. I unplug and try not to care about the emails and social media notifications. I get alone with my thoughts, but anchor them in the Lord’s perspective.

    Reply
    • Toni
      November 2, 2015 at 2:37 pm (1 year ago)

      Unplugging is key! Online time sucks us into a void really. It takes a lot of effort to make time to disconnect. Then everything becomes so much clearer!

      Reply

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