Much More Than A Fairy Tale

As part of our 7th wedding anniversary, and in a way, this blog’s 7th anniversary as well, I’ve invited some of my friends to write about their own wifely steps. This is the third in a series of guest posts. Let’s check out Nenette’s wifely steps. Today is her 10th wedding anniversary too, so cheers to Roomie and Nenette!

Once upon a time, there lived a handsome young prince with kind emerald eyes and golden hair. A sensitive soul with a mind for science, he wandered all over his cold frosty realm, hoping to find his other half to warm his heart.

On the other side of the world, a dark-eyed, tropical island maiden was born. She loved to dance and tell stories, but her head for math told her she was destined for more.

So, she traveled the skies and crossed the oceans to the cold frosty realm of the prince.

There, they met and lived happily ever after.

The end…

Easy, right? Definitely… except for ALL the stuff between “they met” and “lived happily ever after”, of course!

So, how do 2 very different people from 2 very different cultures make their life together work and have fun doing it? In honour of Toni’s 7th Anniversary, here are 7 ways my darling Roomie and I muddle through it all and enjoy a marriage made in fairy tale heaven! Check it out…

1: Take risks for each other.
Only love can explain why a man wildly allergic to fish and seafood would marry a filipina who puts patis (fish sauce) on everything and would gladly eat sushi every single day!
On the bright side, I can identify all the foods he should avoid when we’re at a dinner party or buffet as his Royal Taste Tester.

2: Enjoy our differences.
I try go to every Filipino Cultural event and festival in our city and bring Roomie (and now our kids too) along, so he can watch the dancing, enjoy all the pandesal he can handle, and ask for some baon from all the lolas who would gladly wrap up some extra pandesal for him.

3: Be honest.
My mother always told me that it is “our way” to keep the indelicate monthly cycle a mystery to the men in our lives, especially our husbands. I disagree. Roomie appreciates his periodic “I have PMS — don’t upset me or I’ll stab you with a fork” warnings. He tries to be more sensitive of my feelings, and I try to avoid him. It’s definitely saved our marriage!

4: Customize.
What works for other couples won’t necessarily work for us, so we’ve tried to find ways that will. Take “arguing” for example. From early on in our relationship, we made it a point to hug each other before we aired our grievances. It’s hard to yell at someone who’s embracing you so lovingly. Try it! I dare you to even remember why you were angry in the first place.

5: Remember that we’re on the same team.
I’m an early bird, and my husband is a night owl. When the kids wake up in the morning, I’m awake enough to handle the kids’ various demands and needs, while Roomie’s still wandering around the house like a groggy bear trying to wake up. Much later, I tag Roomie. When it’s my turn to be the groggy mama bear, he steps up to the plate and makes sure the kids get their vitamins, brush their teeth, and change into their pajamas for the night.

6: Don’t sweat the minor stuff.
My husband has this annoying habit of putting garbage close to the trash can. No, not into the trash can. Just close to it. Now, when I say close to it, I mean less than 1 foot from it. It’s enough to drive me mad!!! And this has been going on the entire time we’ve been together — over 18 years! But with mortgage payments, raising our children right, and you know, LIFE, “garbage close to the trash can but not in the trash can” has become we just joke about.

7: Laugh with each other.
Roomie and I had one of our most unforgettable laughs almost 8 years ago when our son was a brand new baby. I had just finished breastfeeding Lam on the couch, and as always, handed him over to Roomie, who was waiting to give our boy a diaper change. Seconds later, Roomie let out an ungodly scream that I’d never EVER heard from him before. There he was, his face a mask of terror, as his hand quickly filled with newborn poop extruded from our son’s bottom! I don’t think I’d laughed so hard in my life. And soon, he was laughing right along with me.

Happy Anniversary, Toni! And thanks for the privilege of being a part of your celebration! I wish you much love, and a life full of “happily ever after”. xoxo

———-
Nenette Alejandria Mayor is a Canada-raised Filipina, loving wife and mom, recovering software engineer, and former hula dance instructor. She talks about her near-and-dear at LifeCandy.net, writes about mom stuff at CanadaMomsBlog.com, and stalks everyone else via twitter as @NenetteAM.

Hi! I'm Toni Tiu, and I've been blogging at at Wifely Steps since 2003. This started as a blog to help newly weds adjust to married life. It has evolved into a home and parenting blog. I write about things close to my heart -- good eats, good reads, family, marriage, and the little things that make everyday happy.