Does motherhood stop you from fulfilling your dreams?

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A week ago, someone told me, “You can’t live your dream because you’re only a Mom.” My initial reaction was anger, then fury, then feeling peeved. After calming down, I realized that statement could be taken positively or negatively. It really depends on what your perspective is but for sure your reaction would depend on how the statement was delivered. In my case, it was the middle of a heated discussion and the other person was putting me down. I was deeply offended and wanted to lash out at him. All the witty comebacks I should have said came 24 hours after our conversation (don’t you hate it when that happens?!). I’m just glad I didn’t stick a fork in his eye.

It was superbly irritating, but frankly I thank him now for saying that. It just solidified my dream of being a mother. I thank him for saying that statement with such disdain, because it further crystallized my priorities. I dream big dreams for myself. But for now, I dream bigger dreams for my son. I know I will fulfill my own dreams someday, but for now, my son is number one.

Being a Mom does not mean I’ve lost sight of my personal dreams. I’ve parked them. They’re in the backburner. I will take them out when the time is right. I will live them and I will live them LARGE. For now, I choose to temper those dreams because I have another dream: to raise my son as hands-on as I can, while I can. I have other dreams: To be a career woman again. To travel. To establish a business. To publish a book. I have many, many, many more. Don’t put me down just because I’m not living those dreams today. Besides, who says I’m not paving the way for those dreams right now? I’m taking little steps towards achieving those dreams. You just don’t see it because I’m actualizing the biggest dream I have: to be that Mom who doesn’t miss on toddler milestones. This is MY dream. Don’t judge me or other mothers by the number of their dreams unfulfilled.

“You can’t live your dream because you’re only a Mom.” I’m convincing myself that it came from concern, but it was delivered with such vehemence that I felt so offended. DUDE. Why don’t you take care of an active toddler the whole day, burn the midnight oil till dawn arrives trying to augment your family’s income, catch an hour of sleep then live the day again? I’m sure you’ll fold. It looks a little crazy but I LOVE this life I’m living. I’m cherishing it for as long as I can because soon my son will go to school. Soon, he’ll be a teenager and won’t want to spend time with me. Soon, he won’t need me and I’ll have so much free time for myself I can actualize my other dreams. It’s called prioritizing. It’s called focus.

I have a lot of dreams, but the most important one is the dream I dreamed since I was a kid: To be a Mom. Being a mother means putting your kids’ needs before yourself. Being a mother entails sacrifice. Being a great mother means empowering your kids while not losing sight of how you can empower yourself. I think I’m doing a pretty good job at that. But I do need the support of good friends for being a mother is tough, very tough. Mothers source their strength not just from their little ones, but from the genuine support of good friends and family.

“You can’t live your dream because you’re only a Mom.” Is motherhood a barrier to my personal dreams? On a certain plane, it could look like motherhood holds women back from fulfilling their own dreams. That is if you want to look at it that way, if you choose to see it that way. I don’t see it that way. True, I’ve passed on socials because there’s nobody else to babysit my son. I’ve passed on work opportunities because it doesn’t fit my work-at-home lifestyle. When you become a mother, you learn how to say “yes” and “no” to certain events, certain socials, certain opportunities. One could interpret this as giving up, thus feeling defeated. Don’t. You’re worth more than that. Hold on to those dreams because who knows, they just might come true. Most times, you’ll have to adjust your sails because of changing opportunities, but that doesn’t mean you should stop being a dreamer. Have faith in yourself.

I’ve fallen off my horse a lot of times. I’ve sunk into a depression because the day-to-day gets overwhelming that it seems to squash all dreams. It’s nothing a good cry, a change in perspective and a warm hug from my husband couldn’t fix though. Today, I see my motherhood as the dream of all my dreams. All other elements in my life will have to adjust because this is the dream I dream. Don’t put me and my dreams down because I’m “only a Mom.”

I am a Mom. But I’m also not just a Mom – I am a woman with dreams, motherhood being the star of it all. I am proud to be where I am. I am proud of where I am going. Motherhood isn’t stopping me from fulfilling all the other dreams I have. Those dreams seem dormant, but they are silently taking shape. Let me surprise you someday. Motherhood is my enabler. Motherhood is fuel for all my dreams coming true.

A walk with my son
Me and my toddler taking a leisurely stroll on a weekday morning. Dream come true!

Notes:
1. This isn’t the same friend who told me “You don’t do much all day, do you?” when he learned I was a stay-at-home Mom. Hmm. Maybe I should assess who I’m hanging out with.
2. I want to hear from you. How was motherhood held you back or propelled you towards realizing your dreams?

35 Comments on Does motherhood stop you from fulfilling your dreams?

  1. manilamommy
    February 10, 2012 at 11:14 pm (11 years ago)

    I hope that guy gets to read your post Toni. Indeed, moms sacrifice a lot for their family and kids because our dreams now include them. I bet his mom did the same. His comment smacks of immaturity. He needs to go to timeout for an hour and think about what he said.
    manilamommy´s last blog post ..Suki sa St. Luke’s

    Reply
  2. JMom @ Amoores
    February 10, 2012 at 11:35 pm (11 years ago)

    Yes, I do hate not having a ready come-back for crass and ignorant statements like that! it happens to me all the time too.

    What people like him don’t realize is that moms not only fulfill their own dreams they also enable oblivious people like him to realize theirs. I’m sure he’s got a mom somewhere too.

    Well said and right on target, Toni!
    JMom @ Amoores´s last blog post ..Paula Should Tell Critics, “Kiss my grits!”

    Reply
  3. Toni
    February 10, 2012 at 11:50 pm (11 years ago)

    manilamommy: He doesn’t read blogs. I’m sure he and I will have a chat about this sometime. Maybe when I’m not that mad or emotional anymore. Maybe when a fork or a cup of hot coffee no longer poses as a potential weapon. 😛

    Reply
  4. Toni
    February 10, 2012 at 11:51 pm (11 years ago)

    JMom @ Amoores: “What people like him don’t realize is that moms not only fulfill their own dreams they also enable oblivious people like him to realize theirs.” Truth!!

    Reply
  5. dinna
    February 11, 2012 at 12:04 am (11 years ago)

    WOW. First, I admire your self-restraint in NOT punching that guy with an upper cut. :) Talk about moronic thinking.. I wonder if he sees his mother, and every stay-at-home/work-at-home mothers around him, like that.

    Second, you have written the very words that embody me. In translation: I CAN SO RELATE! 😀 I’m a stay-at-home mommy of a 20-month-old. I put my career aside, because I no longer felt joy in it. I’m enjoying my time with my family, I am trying to raise a family here, and motherhood is one job that’s so high-paying that it is already priceless.

    Lastly: “All the witty comebacks I should have said came 24 hours after our conversation (don’t you hate it when that happens?!).” — I am like that ALL THE TIME! I so hate myself for it. LOL.

    And you go, Toni girl! That guy friend of yours ought to read this.
    dinna´s last blog post ..the almost emergency

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  6. Toni
    February 11, 2012 at 12:07 am (11 years ago)

    dinna: This friend of mine doesn’t read my blog. But I’m sure we’ll have a talk about it sometime. I won’t let it pass. Hahaha. I just need to bring down my emotions a little bit because I’m still upset about it.

    We Moms gotta stick together!!!

    Reply
  7. Em
    February 11, 2012 at 12:12 am (11 years ago)

    After I gave birth, I knew that work has to step back in order for me to be able to take care of my not-so-little-one-anymore. Two months became 6, 6 months became 12 and now, the tot is already 2years and 4mos and I’m still a stay at home mom. No regrets. Just nosy relatives like that guy friend of yours. One aunt even commented “Hindi kb nabobobo niyan because you don’t work?”. Gawd! Thank heavens I didn’t have a fork right in front of me. While I answered her with a “there are a lot of good reads from the net and even worksheets that help my brain exercise” I was killing her at the back of my head. LOL!

    Reply
  8. Toni
    February 11, 2012 at 12:21 am (11 years ago)

    Em: “Hindi ka ba nabobobo diyan because you don’t work?” –> OH MY GOD. I’ve gotten that a LOT of times. When I shared that I was going to quit my career, I got a lot of warnings na “Mabobobo ka! Sige ka!” Hayyy. Hindi naman lahat ng kaso ganyan diba. Kaloka. You just really have to stand your ground and not lose sight of why you’re doing this in the first place.

    Reply
  9. Giselle
    February 11, 2012 at 12:25 am (11 years ago)

    I didn’t think of myself as particularly maternal before I had kids. In fact, before we got married, I made it clear to my husband-to-be that I intended to work after marriage. But when I got pregnant with our first child, I knew that I had to re-assess my career plans. I knew that I wanted to be hands-on with my child. I found myself asking my husband if it was alright if I quit my job and stay with the baby instead. Fortunately, he was on the same page as far as parenting was concerned. I became a stay-at-home mom. I always thought that I would go back to work when the kids were bigger and they didn’t need me as much. But until then, I would be there for them. I know that there will come a time when they will not want to be around us so much, so I intend to make the most out of that time we do have together. Every milestone, every “first”, every significant event in their young lives – I was going to be there. But while my husband and I were in agreement, the rest of the world saw it differently. “Sayang naman ang pinag-aralan mo,” they would say. I didn’t see it that way. I felt that after many years, I would still be a doctor, but my kids wouldn’t be kids anymore. Of course there were times when I would think of the financial aspect of the matter, but we have been blessed to get by with only one of us working.
    But now my kids are bigger. My eldest is almost done with grade school and my youngest is in the latter part of primary school. It was time to get back to work. So after having been away from work for almost 10 years, I finally rejoined the workforce. I now work part-time. I’m still their primary care-giver, I’m still the one who opens the door for them when they get home from school, I’m still the one who listens to their stories over dinner. But I now have some time away from them, living my dream. I guess my dream has always been to have a solid family life. It was never about fame, or fortune, but having the best family I could have. Being a doctor was just part of it.
    So to answer your question – does motherhood stop you from fulfilling your dream? My answer is no. Motherhood has helped shape what I am now. I’d like to believe that it has made me a better person and a better doctor. I am a wife and a mother first. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
    PS Regarding that comment to you about “not doing much”? I’ve had that too. And I hate it every time!

    Reply
  10. Toni
    February 11, 2012 at 12:59 am (11 years ago)

    Giselle: “Sayang ang pinag-aralan mo.” I hate it when I get that line!!!!! I’ve been on the receiving end of that line many times and it’s sooo insulting.

    I see myself like you a few years from now. I know I will go back to work, part-time or not, when my child(ren?) are grown up.

    We Moms gotta stick with each other. There are a lot of insensitive people out there. It really helps to hear from fellow Moms like you because I feel less alone and more empowered. Let’s carry on supporting each other and empowering each other.

    Reply
  11. Lissa
    February 11, 2012 at 1:54 am (11 years ago)

    OMG. That guy had the nerve to say that to you. So I assume he doesn’t have kids then cause he really wouldn’t understand.

    To answer your question, I don’t think having kids hindered my ability to follow my dreams. I’m a working mom so I know our situations our different but I am still very vested in my career. After all, I worked hard to get where I am. Of course, my family is also a priority to me but right now the key is to try and balance both. There are times when I probably pass up some opportunities because I can’t leave my kids behind but overall, I think I’m doing just fine.

    People really need to mind their own business. Also, what works for them won’t necessarily work for everyone else. Pag ako siguro yun, minura ko na.

    Reply
  12. Dang
    February 11, 2012 at 9:48 am (11 years ago)

    Hello Toni…i just realized that when my own mother raised me well as a full time mother, i realized that i could do the same and do away with all the businesses and engagements of career just to get through focus in forming someone so beautiful that could affect a beautiful difference in the world. I just feel that motherhood is a calling …what you are doing is so noble…you are right…you have the decision to be carried with it such comment or not. You hold the truth in your heart. Take it away. You are such a wonderful mom. Your son will be so grateful one day for such great sacrifice that you did for him. Stay beautiful always. God bless!

    Reply
  13. Dang
    February 11, 2012 at 10:00 am (11 years ago)

    …and the TRUTH is that…our success in this world is not measured by number of accomplishments, titles, etc. …it is always how much LOVE we have put into what we do … i can see that you have put in so much of that…Happy Valentines Day Toni:-)

    Reply
  14. anj
    February 11, 2012 at 10:31 am (11 years ago)

    I dream of two things: too see as much of the world as I can and like you, to spend as much time raising my child as I can. I was with a couple of friends when we were discussing careers many years bacl. We were all doing well in our jobs and know could go way forward, but funny thing was, we all wanted to have that change just to spend time with our future children.

    There was a scene with Julia Stiles and Julia Roberts in Mona Lisa Smile when Julia S, a brilliant student who could have a career in law, chose to get married instead. Julia R was asking her why when she had a career ahead of her. “This is what I want.” That was Julia S answer. You can’t get any real than that. That scene was so freeing for me! I felt the pressure of being the modern working woman lift. That is a social construct! We have the freedom to choose our joys, and if it is to be at home with our children then it is empowering as choosing to have a career while having a family.

    Walang basagan ng trip. Hehe!
    anj´s last blog post .."House-band"

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  15. Ma. Teresa Grech Q. Racal
    February 11, 2012 at 11:40 am (11 years ago)

    Reading this blog really made me cry. Most people every time they hear that i am a stay at home mom aka housewife, usually tells me, wow ang sarap mo naman. What!? Ndi kaya. I chose to be such kasi I wanted to really take care of my kids. It is my responsibility as a mother to look after them. And yes I am a college graduate with a degree in business management. And yes I chose to be a mother and wife. There are days that yes I wanted to scream my head out but at the end of the da when my 2 older daughters are doing great at school, when teachers commend me for doing a great job as a mother, dun masaya na ako. Every time my hubby commend me for being a good mother, palakpak na ears ko nun because I know I have done my part, and it is still a long way for me. And every time I see in their assignments that I am a good wife to their tatay, I know I have done my part, and yes my relationship with my hubby has a long way to go. Ndi magaling maging mother and wife because the money my husband gives me, I have to spend it to the Basie expenses first. There are things, lalo na Kung materially, that I have to sacrifice or think it about if kailangan Ba talaga ng kids. Those sorts of things. Kailangan ko din maging psychologist, kasi I have 3 daughters with different personalities and emotional needs. I have a husband who also, at the end of the day, needs my support as well. And yes it was only lately that I realize that I have to have my “me time” because if I don’t have that my own sanity will be gone. I am thankful for this blog, ms. Toni and now I could proudly say that yes I am a stay at home mom and wife, and that I am proud to be one. Thanks for this.
    Ma. Teresa Grech Q. Racal´s last blog post ..The Book I Fell In Love With…

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  16. toni
    February 11, 2012 at 11:42 am (11 years ago)

    Grech: Your comment made me cry. I was so touched that it connected with you. I could feel every thing you typed because it really resonated with me too. Kaya natin to Grech. Let’s just support each other as we journey through motherhood together. :)

    Reply
  17. toni
    February 11, 2012 at 11:44 am (11 years ago)

    Dang: Thank you for the encouragement and support. We mothers should draw strength from one another! I fully agree that love is the greatest accomplishment. <3

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  18. toni
    February 11, 2012 at 11:45 am (11 years ago)

    anj: Hahahaha! Tama! Walang basagan ng triiiiiiiiiip! I haven’t seen Mona Lisa Smila (I know. Super mega duper late.), but I wanna watch it tuloy just for that scene.

    Reply
  19. Mom-Friday
    February 11, 2012 at 12:14 pm (11 years ago)

    “All the witty comebacks I should have said came 24 hours after our conversation (don’t you hate it when that happens?!).” — THIS happens to me all the time! And it’s frustrating knowing that you want to put that offending person in his place.

    This post is so spot-on! I share your sentiments.
    We moms do have dreams of our own and, and as I always say to ignorant people like this fella you encountered, motherhood did not STOP the dream, it was just put on hold.
    I chose to be a mom, so what I want for myself takes a back seat, because there are 2 more important human beings that needed to be nurtured. And they will inspire me to fulfill my dreams in the near future.
    Mom-Friday´s last blog post ..Family Friday: Pets and Kids, part 2

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  20. Browneyedgirl
    February 11, 2012 at 12:41 pm (11 years ago)

    Hello! First time commenter here. =) Isn’t this the age old conflict all moms have to face? Work and have to deal with guilt, or stay at home and have to face idiotic comments like these. When I resigned 5 years ago I think I heard them all: “Mabobobo ka,” “Mahirap humingi ng allowance sa asawa,” “Malolosyang ka.” All I can say is, to each his own. Bahala sila sa buhay nila. Basta ako, I chose to do what makes me truly happy at the end of the day, and it is NOT chasing after sales quotas, working overtime, having to kiss clients’ asses, and arriving home to already sleeping kids. Though I lost a considerable amount of personal funding (aka my comfortable salary), nothing, and I mean nothing, could ever replace the times that I could personally take care of my kids when they were sick, attend all their PTCs and competitions, tutor them myself, and talk and cuddle with them whenever I wanted to. And I know someday when my kids are all grown up they will look back and appreciate all those times. It’s an investment with sure returns that cannot be quantified, but which will definitely bring you the most lasting happiness.

    And to the person who told you that moronic remark, if I were you I would actually feel sorry for him, because it sounds like he either didn’t grow up with a good mother figure, was neglected as a child, or probably never appreciated the warmth and love of a hands-on mom.

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  21. Faye
    February 11, 2012 at 1:59 pm (11 years ago)

    Oh oh, that guy is very narrow-minded. Motherhood may seem chaotic for people who’s experience it but that doesn’t give them an excuse to make tacky remarks like that. If I were in your shoes, baka hindi ko na napigilan sarili ko. I would’ve really stuck a fork in his eye. Motherhood was something that inspired me to dream more. To dream bigger. And it’s true, frustrating at times when you think you can already make a dream come true at a certain point but then you had to prioritize your kid, your family but at the end of the day seeing how that sacrifice impacted your family positively is really priceless. Sometimes that is enough already. But i guess not everyone sees that part. And that’s just sad. Please know how inspiring you are to moms like me Toni. Keep doing what you do. And keep sharing it to inspire us more! ^_^
    Faye´s last blog post ..Nanny Heartbreak

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  22. sheng
    February 11, 2012 at 4:56 pm (11 years ago)

    When I had a petty job in a small publishing company, i told myself that dreaming big dreams for my family is set aside because i earn too little. But when i added an online job, I felt superbly fulfilled of what I am doing aside from the daily tasks in the office. Until I decided to resign. And that’s when I felt more fulfilled, as a mom because i can bring my children to school, take care of them and prepare their food, while at the same time, earning for the family.

    Whoever said that to you i guess, is either not a parent, or is more likely an insecure one.
    sheng´s last blog post ..34, Older and Wiser

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  23. Daphne
    February 11, 2012 at 6:01 pm (11 years ago)

    The thing with receiving comments like that is we tend to be quite defensive. Partly because the person might indeed have a point. S/he might have hit a raw nerve which we know lurks in the back of our minds but we simply choose to sweep it under the rug.

    Now there don’t get me wrong I am not justifying his ignorant remarks. All I want to add to this discussion is that whether we like it or not, people have various notions of what it means to be a mom. We cannot do anything if that is how s/he feels therefore it is useless to argue ourselves hoarse explaining our case to someone who has been molded into thinking as such. The best we can do is to take their statements with a grain of salt and/or develop a thick skin so as not to let their ignorant/vicious remarks affect us to the core.
    Daphne´s last blog post ..Forty Four

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  24. amber
    February 12, 2012 at 10:35 pm (11 years ago)

    I so agree with Daphne there… If we’re truly happy and confident with our decisions, then we don’t owe anyone any sort of explanation of why we did this or that and we shouldn’t get affected by their unfounded opinions.

    Reply
  25. Martine
    February 12, 2012 at 11:32 pm (11 years ago)

    “Let me surprise you someday. Motherhood is my enabler. Motherhood is fuel for all my dreams coming true.”

    A big, fat AMEN TO THAT.

    You’re right about our dreams being put “on hold.” I don’t see anything wrong with a “pause” button on life, it really just depends on what kind of life you want to be living here and now. For me, I want to be an active participant in my son’s life. He’s all of two years old, and is growing by the day. I’m surprised at how much he has transformed before my eyes, and I have been with him every single day, 24/7 most days, since he was six months old. That’s when I quit my job to become a work-at-home mom.

    I am all the more affirmed as a mom, Toni, after reading your post. Some people just don’t understand what it’s like to be a parent, and we can’t really blame them. (Though I, too, would have been incredibly annoyed if someone had said the same to me!)
    Martine´s last blog post ..Home Office Inspiration: Eclectic white space

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  26. Toni
    February 13, 2012 at 4:31 am (11 years ago)

    Mom-Friday: I’m happy I’m not alone in this feeling! :)

    Browneyedgirl: Motherhood is a tough, tough, tough job but the rewards are priceless indeed. I still get upset by remarks like that (“Mabobobo ka pag di nagtrabaho”, etc.) but not as much.

    Faye: That’s true, not everyone sees it. I appreciate now that my Mom also did the same thing when I was a toddler! Iba talaga alaga ng nanay eh.

    sheng: It’s a tough life, motherhood is, and sometimes the best sources of strength are fellow Moms. Thanks for the support.

    Daphne: I understand where you’re coming from. It’s hard to ignore remarks like that though, especially when you’re working so hard and giving all you can. True, we should just develop a thick skin and move on. That happens over time though, so perhaps the next time I hear something like this again I won’t be as upset.

    amber: It’s a process of growing confidence. I’d be lying if I said that no matter how happy I am I would remain unshaken by comments like that. There will always be a degree of insecurity when it comes to mothering (I can only speak for myself), so comments like that shake my confidence. The good thing about it is that I know it makes me stronger. I’ll probably be less bothered by stuff like this a couple of years down the line. Hey, I’m only human. :)

    Martine: Thanks for the support and the affirmation. It helps to know that you’re not the only one who faces struggles like this.

    Reply
  27. Shelanee Theresa P. Ruales
    February 13, 2012 at 11:11 am (11 years ago)

    Been reading your blog for quite sometime but its my first time to comment. I find this post the best =)
    I salute you for the choice you made to be “full-time” with your son. If only I can do it as well, I would. I want to witness everything my son undergoes as he grows up. Being a mom is more important than any job in the world. But since I can’t do what you have done, I put so much effort to keep up with the things I missed. Since I am teaching, I also try my best not to bring any work at home so that I could spend quality time with my son.

    God bless =)

    Reply
  28. ladyviola11
    February 14, 2012 at 5:26 pm (11 years ago)

    hi toni! i salute you for being a full-time mom. it entails a lot of sacrifices and emotional maturity. i am a working mom and i look-up to mothers who selflessly devotes her time to her children.

    happy valentine’s day, toni!

    Reply
  29. Susan Koh
    February 20, 2012 at 12:36 am (11 years ago)

    As a working mom, SAHM have my respect. Honestly I don’t know how you guys do it, take care of the child, teach them, keep the house neat, cook nice meals for the family. That’s something I’m trying to learn without losing my cool especially after a day’s work. I do agree that as moms we have to shelf our dreams but not dump them aside. Kids will only be young once and when they are older, it’s our time to shine again. Don’t let that guy’s stupidity and insensitivity get you down.
    Susan Koh´s last blog post ..Thankful Thursdays-Counting My Blessings One By One

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  30. rose
    February 22, 2012 at 11:40 am (11 years ago)

    i am a working mom but i’ve been dreaming to be a plain housewife and a stay-at-home mom to my daughter ever since but i have no choice… so i envy u ms. toni. u should be proud. no big dream can compare in raising a child that u will be proud of someday! God bless u.

    Reply
  31. sarah
    March 15, 2012 at 3:29 pm (11 years ago)

    I am glad you did not dare this person to have him switch places with you so that he can think twice when he is talking to a mom.Obviuosly he is not one, so better let him wallow in such darkness.

    I always have soft spots for people who value their moms and the struggles they have been through in bringing up their kids. As moms,we set aside our dreams for the sake of our children. That’s what I’ve done. I was a sahm for more than 12 years, and since I have 7 kids, three of them have special needs , I had to sacrifice, almost everything because of them the until it came to a point that I needed to work. It was hard,but looking back, I realized I have done the right thing.

    You are on the right track. Because you chose to be a mom, you write beautiful posts and inspire other people to take a second look at motherhood. Without you knowing it, your kid had grown up so fast, but with that came a lot of memorable moments that you will always cherish because you chose to be a mom.

    Feel free to visit my blog and drop a few lines anytime.
    sarah´s last blog post ..Finding Your Way Home

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  32. cheche
    June 4, 2012 at 10:50 pm (10 years ago)

    Hi toni.. Just came across your blog and I couldn’t stop browsing. I’m a mom of two very energetic kids too and I’m also a non working nurse at the moment. I have just started my blog recently to vent off some unexpressed emotions. Reading this article made me realize a lot of things —>thank’s to you bigtime. I’m going through a lot in my life right now that I sometimes doubt myself if I’m a better mom to my kids. To me the best mom could easily juggle kids, home and a good paying job. Before i thought if a woman could also provide the basic necessities in life for her family is a very ideal mom. I was always depressed thinking that I don’t have a job and then insecurities kick in that could sometimes cause minor squabbles with the husband. Everything you said is true. I realized that even if I couldn’t buy all those cool stuff for my kids at least I’m there with them. Helping them every step of the way. Witnessing the most important milestones in their lives. At least I won’t have that “what if’s” when they get older and leaving the nest to pursue their own dreams. My dreams could wait, even if I’m already old. What is important is that I’ve shared with them the most unforgettable moments in their young life. I know when they are all grown up they will never forget “mom”. I am not going to care to those people who think that they have it easy peasy just because they have this good paying job. Let them take care of all the housework while tending to a hungry screaming toddler and a preschooler who asks for your help in his homework. Mom should be known as superheroes. Some people could never do what mom’s like us could do in a very best way. Goodluck to us! and more power to your blog! keep on blogging! Godbless!

    Reply
  33. romzkeepomski
    February 27, 2013 at 2:12 pm (10 years ago)

    About to be a mom in less than 7 weeks. I could not imagine seeing it this way that motherhood will stop me from having my dreams. It simply doesn’t work like that. You are right in saying that motherhood is an enabler – a catalyst for women to strive more, to pursue excellence in whatever they choose to do. So funny that some people still think that way, so old school! In fact, moms are among the smartest, most flexible, and most persistent individuals I know who will not just go after their own personal dreams with zeal – but more so for their family’s and kids’ dreams, as well.

    I’ve been a satisfied career woman for 8 years BUT i will gladly exchange that any time to mothering my soon-to-be-daughter. That’s my biggest dream!

    Continue writing.. You are an inspiration!
    romzkeepomski´s last blog post ..Lenten Fridays: Wife Edition

    Reply
    • Toni
      February 27, 2013 at 3:18 pm (10 years ago)

      Thank you for the feedback, romzkeepomski. Motherhood is indeed an enabler; not a hindrance at all. It isn’t perfect and admittedly there are times when we feel like there are sacrifices that have to be made, but ultimately, motherhood is a catalyst for better, greater things. Keep in touch!

      Reply

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