What if you’re happily married, and the-one-who-got-away suddenly comes into your life? Have you really found the one? Can you love who you’re with and still love the one who never really got away?
“Love the One You’re With” is Emily Giffin’s most recent novel. She also authored “Something Borrowed”, “Something Blue”, and “Baby Proof”.
Ellen and Andy are recent newlyweds, enjoying the bliss of their new life together. One afternoon though, Ellen runs into Leo, the guy who broke her heart eight years ago. This surprising, electrifying encounter rekindles feelings once thought doused. Ellen struggles with the choices she has to make, as she wonders whether the life she has now or could have had is what she needs and deserves.
I’d recommend it, yes. The plot of this book is not new: The one who got away makes an appearance in your life at an inconvenient time. An old plot may have been revived, but Emily Giffin’s fresh and empathizing storytelling makes “Love the One You’re With” engaging. This is a great book for those who’ve always wondered “What if?” The story is wistful, heartbreaking, funny and engaging. This is definitely one of Emily Giffin’s most thought-provoking novels.
*****
Spoilers begin. Have you read the book? Want to exchange thoughts?
I was expecting a lot from Emily Giffin with “Love the One You’re With” because I loved “Something Borrowed” and “Something Blue.” So when the first page of this book hooked me immediately into Ellen’s dilemma, I knew it was going to be awesome.
What I liked about the book:
Let’s start with the people. I sympathized with ALL the characters — from Ellen to Andy to Suzanne to Margot to Leo. I really loved how Emily Giffin made each character so real. I wanted to bonk Ellen on the head sometimes, but hey, how would you react if you were in that situation? And so I withheld the bonking. Andy was amazing as the perfect husband, and then you saw the flaws later on too. But still, you understood why he was doing it. Leo was the bad boy and still he had that simple charm that makes you also understand and appreciate what he did. Same goes for Margot and Suzanne. I liked how Emily Giffin made her characters multi-dimensional and not just carry “the best friend card” or “the sister card.”
Leo vs. Andy. Leo, oh, Leo. He was written so sexily you could imagine his eyes on you when he looked at Ellen. Dark and brooding Leo versus sweet and vanilla Andy. It’s an expected fire vs. ice love triangle, but still I was hooked.
Because I also just finished watching many seasons of Top Chef, I imagined Sam Talbot as Leo, and Richard Blaize as Andy. Ooooh, Sam Talbot. Omnomnom.
The quick start. I LOVED how the book began. It went straight into the conflict of the novel in a sharp and gripping way. Gaaaah. Serendipity? Fate? Randomness? Is she going to tell him where she is? Noooo! Yessss! The questions started filling my head.
The ending. The moment when Andy steps out of the cab is a perfect movie moment. Oh my gosh, I was so thrilled. I also liked how heartbreaking and wistful it was. Emily Giffin kept the emotions real. While Ellen did make a choice, it wasn’t a clean cut because of all the little strings that had complicated it. And Ellen realizes this, which makes it more emotional for her and FOR THE READER. My heart aches remembering the moment she made the final choice, but still I rejoice with her too as she is illuminated.
Love is a choice. This was the theme of the novel, and it was brought to life so well by Emily Giffin. It sounds so simple but wow, it’s a very loaded statement. Leo made his choice and went for it, just being himself. Risks and all, he just shot for it despite the fact that she was married. You’ll never really know until you try, perhaps that what he was thinking. And that’s what Ellen thought too. Only her decision-making involved more people which proved difficult for her. I liked that in the end she realized it was a choice she had to make for herself and for her husband. It’s not about past flames or best friend grudges or what have you. It’s about the couple. And that’s what marriage is about, isn’t it?
Relatable.After reading the book, I asked my husband, “Do you have a the-one-who-got-away?” After some thinking, he said, “Nope. Do you?” I thought about it too and answered, “I don’t either.” That’s the truth! But I’m not a stranger to “What if’s.” I don’t think anyone is a stranger to “What if?”. We may have run into our ex’s here and there, or wondered what they’re up to. It makes Ellen relatable. That’s probably one reason why this book connected with me and with others so well.
I wonder how the characters will progress with their lives. It would be interesting to see where life takes them. For now, I’m just happy Ellen was finally able to make the choice herself. Closure is what she needed, and that is what she got even if it took eight years. Good for her. And Leo, oh, Leo. Maybe he’ll end up a bachelor for life, moping after Ellen. Or he could just end up dating a supermodel for a long time and they’d have their own advocacy together. Margot will have two more kids and still live the white-picket fence life. Suzanne will leave her boyfriend and marry an exotic foreigner she meets on one of her flights. You never really know what life brings you next, do you? And how it all ends, is really, really, all up to you.
*****
Hi! I'm Toni Tiu,
and I've been blogging at
at Wifely Steps since 2003. This started as a blog to help newly weds adjust to married life. It has evolved into a home and parenting blog. I write about things close to my heart -- good eats, good reads, family, marriage, and the little things that make everyday happy.
dyanie
August 28, 2008 at 12:11 pm (16 years ago)hmmm.. looks interesting. I might cry ata dito ah. 😉
dyanies last blog post..Happy Birthday Mama!
sheng
August 28, 2008 at 1:35 pm (16 years ago)Hi Toni, I am actually eyeing those Twilight books in National Bookstore. I’d love to read them too. Is it really worth reading?
shengs last blog post..Kadayawan Festival
J.
August 28, 2008 at 1:53 pm (16 years ago)Oh, I had to cover my screen when I saw what this post was about. I just finished “Something Blue” and was embarrassingly bawling by the last few pages. Starting on “Baby Proof” tomorrow, “Love The One” already waiting by my bedside.
J.s last blog post..My Mixer, My Self: A Birthday Post
Frances
August 28, 2008 at 6:16 pm (16 years ago)What coincidence! I’m currently reading this.
It makes me nervous, to tell you the truth. I keep on wishing that Ellen doesn’t do anything to screw up his relationship with Andy. Hehe!
Sinta
August 28, 2008 at 8:30 pm (16 years ago)I haven’t read it yet so I skipped the spoilers
Will look out for it on the next book store trip ^_^
Sintas last blog post..Protected: The Woodwork
Tin
August 28, 2008 at 10:03 pm (16 years ago)I love Emily Giffin! I’ve just finished Something Blue too. Actually I’ve had her books since last year (Something Borrowed, Something Blue, and Baby Proof) but I’ve been “saving” them so I only started reading them now.
Will hurry up on Baby Proof so I can move on to Love the One You’re With. I’ll have to run to my bookstore to grab a copy!
ibyang
August 29, 2008 at 7:19 am (16 years ago)thanks for the reco.
ibyangs last blog post..Litratong Pinoy: Ayaw Ko! (Reject)
notsquare
August 29, 2008 at 10:37 am (16 years ago)uy, the story sounds familiar 😉
i wouldnt want to read this though… you should know why, hehe.
notsquares last blog post..he he 😉
denden
August 29, 2008 at 10:12 pm (16 years ago)thanks for the heads up, toni. the story sounds interesting, will grab a copy.
Mel
August 30, 2008 at 8:37 pm (16 years ago)this looks interesting. Might get one soon 😀 thanks for the heads up toni
maver
September 2, 2008 at 12:48 pm (16 years ago)may ebook na ba nito? lol.
maver, the pirate
mavers last blog post..NOW SHOWING
arpee lazaro
September 3, 2008 at 5:12 pm (16 years ago)a few years ago i found myself in pretty much the same situation. apparently, the one who got away returned home from the us. i bumped into her at a grocery store in makati. kwento kwentuhan, tapos syempre ayaan na magkita ulit. naturally there was the spark and feeling that i might lucky the second time around. but nahiya ako sa wife ko, who sacrificed a lot for our marriage to work. i never returned her calls and texts. yes, love is indeed a choice.
arpee lazaros last blog post..Seoul Restaurant in Korea town
kat
September 4, 2008 at 4:43 am (16 years ago)tones! i really enjoyed this book too. i bought it specifically b/c it screamed to me –i had “the one who got away” and then the one i married. my ex john was kinda like a leo. not really a bad boy type per se, but now he is a rockstar (he’s in 2 bands, actively tours, and makes money as a musician). my hubs is not a musician and is super-stable compared to him. and every so often, i get hit with thoughts of “what if?”
but love and who you love is a choice (as others can attest). but yes, i thought giffin’s take was quite fresh and i love how the story zips through and doesn’t become a sappy mess. it’s very relatable and i like how it ends. ultimately, it’s very insightful and makes you examine your life and at the same time, lets you know that you are definitely not alone and very normal.
kats last blog post..the halfway point
Mitch
September 8, 2008 at 12:56 am (16 years ago)I want to read this book….
Wala akong makita dito, and Amazon won’t deliver to Pnas.
CandyQ
September 16, 2008 at 6:41 pm (16 years ago)My curiosity was piqued when I read your review and I was lucky that I found a copy of it at the bookstore here.
I loved how the characters were portrayed and that the story wasn’t a sap-fest. I could relate on a certain level because both the hubby and I had our one “significant” ex who we were still friends with respectively. After we got married, I decided to cut off communication with my SE and my J followed suit. Plus I’ve always believed that love isn’t all about the giddy, exhilarating feeling that we get but also a decision. Especially when you’re married. So the book was a winner for me.
CandyQs last blog post..Because my hand is connected to my heart.