Resolution: Delete people. Not in the scary kind of way, but deleting people on Facebook or on my cell phone’s contact list.
Last year I told myself I’d learn how to bake a pie and make a quilt. 2011 went by and the most I did was buy a cookbook and gather clothes for the baby quilt I was supposed to make. This year, I’ll go simple with the resolutions. One of them is to create a better workspace at home, the other is to delete.
There’s an episode on How I Met Your Mother when Robin was asked to delete a number of an old flame. All she does is drunk dial him anyway. Marshall was asked to delete a random number from his cell, which turned out to be the booker for a club where he played with a band once. Heads up: Marshall is not in a band and hasn’t been in one for years. Lily was asked to delete the number of her old karate dojo where she was defeated by a kid. All of them end up deleting those numbers from their cellphones. Closure is what they called it.
My purpose for deleting names and numbers isn’t really closure. It’s simply streamlining. Do I really want someone I’ve only met once and don’t really talk to anymore to know about my favorite movies? Heck, she or he probably doesn’t even care what I put as my status. Deleting is also a way of letting go of energy vampires. You know who they are — the people who bring you down, who do nothing but make you feel bad about yourself and life in general. I’ve had a couple and want to minimize contact with them. Since I see them on Facebook more often than I see them in person, “delete friend” I shall go.
Another reason for deleting? To make room for new blessings. Deleting as a resolution doesn’t only pertain to people, but to objects such as the clutter in my closet and the bedroom floor. Deleting, erasing, getting rid of, decluttering — all these are ways of making room for new things. New connections. New places. New opportunities. Fresh perspectives.
Deleting is a way to nurture what I have. After the purging is done, what I’ll be left with is the stuff I care about, be it a list of people on the phone or a couple of clothes on hangers. There’s a reason why they’re staying. There’s a reason why they should be cherished.
Out with the old, the useless, the negative, the sad, the humps, the things that once held me back. In with the new, the purposive, the happy, the leaps, the things that can push me forward. If it’s deleting that will help me let go of 2011’s booboos and negativity, then I’m all for it. Delete to refresh. Delete to reconnect. Delete to move forward.
Hi! I'm Toni Tiu,
and I've been blogging at
at Wifely Steps since 2003. This started as a blog to help newly weds adjust to married life. It has evolved into a home and parenting blog. I write about things close to my heart -- good eats, good reads, family, marriage, and the little things that make everyday happy.
Rye
January 4, 2012 at 6:42 pm (12 years ago)I’ve always had trouble “deleting” in my life… be it people or objects.
For people, there’s the constant dilemma whether to keep old friends especially those that I hardly interact with anymore, especially those that go all the way back to high school.
For objects, just the sentimental value I put on stuff. I’ve actually taken pictures and scanned a couple… but still can’t get myself to throw them out.
I know, I know… I’m such a big sissy when it comes to these things.
Let me see if I chanting this mantra from your article “Delete to refresh. Delete to reconnect. Delete to move forward.” will help me get through it…
Rye´s last blog post ..John’s Word of the Day: RETENTION
kayni
January 4, 2012 at 11:56 pm (12 years ago)that’s what i’ve been doing too…decluttering my facebook and my wardrobe.
kayni´s last blog post ..What I’ve Been Doing
Ate B
January 5, 2012 at 4:23 am (12 years ago)I did the most decluttering almost, wow, almost a decade ago. Moving here we were forced to bring just the important stuff. That meant, burning love letters, throwing away trinkets, cards and even photos of people I never got in touch with anymore anyway. With the distance you can easily determine who will stay with you by keeping in touch. So the others who didn’t make the effort kind of slipped away. A few I tried to reconnect with but since the connection wasn’t really there anymore the ties just simply got loose and faded away.
Oh yeah, I call them emotional vampires. I’ve purged some before I left too. If they’re not bringing anything positive to your life and keep taking your sunshine away then you just have to slay them. You can only give them enough chances. Our time is precious and I prefer to spend every free time i get with family or the closest friends. So even with Facebook, i cannot let myself spend more than 30 minutes on it (if i do get to it). Because i know i’ll spend hours in it or even a whole day just checking on old close friends if i let myself. I have not started deleting friends, maybe i will the next time i go on fb, one fakebook friend at a time. I’ve started deleting TV shows and limiting my TV time. I usually get to my fave shows in the middle of the night when the baby’s up for feeding. Thanks to On Demand (like a free Tivo). My husband has successfully nagged me into purging my closet, again. He cannot believe i need clothes and I say i don’t have anything to wear when the closet is overflowing. It’s really not that much but he’s very streamlined in this area. So i had to take out the things that don’t fit anymore (the ones i think i would fit into again eventually but…) and the ones i think no longer fit the kind of woman I’ve become (hanep–but you get what i mean). Passed on those for other people to have. I agree, purging is something we have to do regularly to make room for new things and possible blessings. With that, let me purge a few things from my desk drawers.
Giselle
January 5, 2012 at 4:03 pm (12 years ago)Great thought for the new year. That’s also what I want to work on for myself this year. I’ve been putting it off for the longest time, for different reasons. But you put it so well – all the reasons to “delete”. Might as well start now
Happy new year!
Kay
January 5, 2012 at 11:43 pm (12 years ago)I hope that I wont be part of the deleted list
Kay´s last blog post ..Star City: last hurrah before 4th quarter starts …
eli
January 6, 2012 at 12:29 pm (12 years ago)thanks toni! needed to read this today… happy new year and here’s to an awesome 2012
Toni
January 8, 2012 at 2:50 am (12 years ago)Rye: Let me know how it turns out for you. It’s not an easy process. Definitely not. Sometimes it takes me a whole week or more just to decide whether to let something go or not. Once the decision is made though, whether to keep or not, I feel lighter. At least I know where things and people stand in my life, and where I stand in theirs.
Toni
January 8, 2012 at 2:51 am (12 years ago)kayni: Yey! Here’s to making more space for new blessings this year.
Toni
January 8, 2012 at 2:52 am (12 years ago)Ate B: It’s so good to hear from you. Emailing you!
Toni
January 8, 2012 at 2:53 am (12 years ago)Giselle: Thank you! I hope it works out for you also. Happy new year!
Toni
January 8, 2012 at 2:53 am (12 years ago)Kay: You won’t! Haha!
Toni
January 8, 2012 at 2:53 am (12 years ago)eli: Happy new year eli!
Em Dy
January 20, 2012 at 11:35 am (12 years ago)Agree completely. I’ve also deleted people oozing with negativity and unsubscribed to most feeds.
Em Dy´s last blog post ..Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked