I miss hearing my Grandfather’s voice. It was deep and booming, very much like his laugh. When he’d answer the phone, he’d give a staccato of a “Hello!” When he was mad, his voice could make anyone’s knees tremble. When he would sing, everyone was mesmerized. He would crack jokes a lot too, and then he’d punctuate them in the end with his own laugh. And the thing is his jokes were always funny, so you’d laugh at the joke and how he’d laugh at his own jokes.
He passed away four years ago. Sometimes I dream of him, particularly when I do a good deed for my Grandma. I imagine it’s him saying thanks. He’d always be smiling; that beaming smile that always made me feel I was a good girl. Earning his approval wasn’t really necessary, but I wanted to make him proud anyway.
I wish he could see what I’ve accomplished now. I remember when I aced some Statistics exams in college, my mother was so proud and told him about it. My Grandfather was a Statistics professor, and it felt so good to impress him, to see him so proud. But most of all, it felt good to have that connection with him. Those aced Stat exams just brought to life some of our similarities, and it silently helped cement the bond we had as grandfather-granddaughter.
The red phone reminded me of him. The last time I spoke with him, it was on the phone. That was four years ago. I had helped arrange some travel insurance for them, and was giving them details. The phone call ended with me telling my Grandma I loved her, and me telling my Grandpa I loved him too. As he wasn’t demonstrative, he laughed and said thank you. Deep and booming, much like his voice. I knew it was his way of saying he loved me too.
He died in October 2004.
I was scrolling through my cell phone’s directory a few days ago, then came across his name. I couldn’t bring myself to delete it and I don’t think I ever will. He used to send me inspirational forwarded messages, that man of 82 years old. It’s just another reminder that he’s just here, somewhere, with us, with me.
That phone call:
Me: (to my grandma) “Please tell Wowo that I love him!”
Maymee: “Papa! Toni says she loves you very much.” (puts Wowo on the line)
Wowo: “Toni?”
Me: “Wowo! I love you!”
Wowo: (laughs) “Thank you!”
I just miss you, that’s all.
Hi! I'm Toni Tiu,
and I've been blogging at
at Wifely Steps since 2003. This started as a blog to help newly weds adjust to married life. It has evolved into a home and parenting blog. I write about things close to my heart -- good eats, good reads, family, marriage, and the little things that make everyday happy.
sheng
September 17, 2008 at 11:24 am (16 years ago)Oh, my heart melted with the story, you made me miss my Tatay Salus and my Nanay Connie too, they both are in heaven I believe… it’s just that, oh well, I really miss them now…
shengs last blog post..Blog Love No. 1
Jo Ann
September 17, 2008 at 2:20 pm (16 years ago)you’re lucky to have a close relationship with your grandfather. how i wish i also have a close bond with my lolo…
pinayhekmi
September 17, 2008 at 2:20 pm (16 years ago)The good thing is? The people we love never leave us, because they leave their best in our hearts di ba?
pinayhekmis last blog post..Crisis in Wall Street As Banks Fall
blue rose
September 17, 2008 at 4:26 pm (16 years ago)ow! you made me miss my brother. he passed away in 1992.
you are indeed lucky to be so close to your grandfather. ako, wala na akong naabutang lolo or lola.
blue roses last blog post..lots of happiness!
Sinta
September 17, 2008 at 4:37 pm (16 years ago)That is so sweet. I wish my granddad and I had such a close relationship.
Sintas last blog post..Pink Mix Scarf
lady cess
September 17, 2008 at 5:15 pm (16 years ago)aaw! this post is so nice and sweet!
im sure your wowo has seen this and he wants you to know he misses you too.
love the photo!
kreez
September 17, 2008 at 6:58 pm (16 years ago)that was really heartwarming toni. sometimes we simply can’t help but miss those loved ones that has left us and just take comfort in the thought that they’re still watching over us somehow.
kreezs last blog post..Plaka, authentic Greek experience
CandyQ
September 17, 2008 at 7:42 pm (16 years ago)Darn, Toni… you made me miss my Lolo! :’-( I only had one (mom’s side) because the one on my dad’s side died when my father was very young. My Lolo was such a great cook… the best dinuguan ever! And I was his Kendeng, hehe.
He passed away three years ago while I was working overseas and until now, whenever I dream of him, he’s as alive as when I last saw him.
CandyQs last blog post..the bane of my existence
Gracie
September 17, 2008 at 10:47 pm (16 years ago)Oh Toni, you suddenly made me realize how much I miss my grandpa and grandma. Thank God they’re still alive and well, they are in the Philippines now, and I just wish I could go visit them again soon.
odette
September 17, 2008 at 10:58 pm (16 years ago)so sweet toni, i know you were shedding tears while you were typing this.
{{{hugs}}}
odettes last blog post..little discoveries :: wicklow mountains
That’s right O. I was sniffing as I wrote it.
dyanie
September 18, 2008 at 2:04 am (16 years ago)aaawwww… that’s so sweet of you tonigirl.. i just miss my lolo and lola…
dyanies last blog post..Celine Dion and Charice Pempengco Duet: Because You Loved Me
Pat
September 18, 2008 at 9:42 am (16 years ago)toni, you made me teary eyed. I suddenly miss my lolo and lola.
Pats last blog post..Pics from the Bazaar
Eper
September 18, 2008 at 11:39 am (16 years ago)Aww…I miss my grandparents too. I lived with them all my life…2 years ago my lolo passed away and my lola followed him last year…I’m sure they’re at peace in heaven
BabyPink
September 18, 2008 at 5:09 pm (16 years ago)hi toni girl!:)
aaaww, this one’s nice. alam mo, you’re very lucky that you were close to your wowo. in my case, i have no memories of both my grandfathers. my maternal grandfather kasi passed away when my mom was still a little girl. ‘yung lolo ko naman sa father side passed away when i was 9, but i had no memories of nim since they were based in lanao del norte while we in lanao del sur. besides he was too old to “play” with his apos by then. he was more than a hundred years old (107 yata) when he passed. but i’ve heard lots of nice stories about these two great men.:)
BabyPinks last blog post..Sad Ramadhan…
maxinie:)
October 9, 2008 at 9:20 pm (16 years ago)i miss wowo tuloy. :((