Nenette’s Wifely Steps

When Toni asked me to write once again about my Wifely Steps, I was of course honoured and so thrilled, especially since Roomie and I will be reaching a major milestone soon.  You see, in a few short months, this coming May 30, 2012 to be exact, we will be celebrating 20 years together as a couple.

Holy cow, twenty years!  That’s a ‘whole adult’ old!  That’s the number of years between preschool to high school graduation!  That’s the number of years it takes to pay off a mortgage on a house!And oh, it’s been so much fun!   Come with me as I look back on my almost-20 years with Roomie, and share with you the fives* of my life as girlfriend/wife…

Five Interesting Facts About Roomie and Me
1:  I kissed him first.  I was raised to be sweet and demure.  You know, the conduct befitting an innocent Filipina.  Until, of course, the infamous date of May 30, 1992.  We were in his car.  He told me he liked me.  I grabbed his head and kiss him full on the lips.  I was shameless.  He then kicked me out of his car.  Ugh!  I wish I were kidding.  I was afraid that I’d scared him.  He was really afraid that my dad would come out and see us.

2:  We lived together for 5 years before we got married.  Calling my parents to tell them my boyfriend was moving in with me was one of the most awkward conversation I’d ever had.  With anyone.  In the history of phone calls.

3:  I followed him to Hawai’i.  Once again, going against everything my mother taught me about being aloof and being the chasee instead of the chaser, I moved to be with my boyfriend who had found a job as an instrumentation engineer at a telescope at the summit of a volcano in Hawai’i.  And it was one of the best times of my life.

4:  I proposed to him.  It was on May 6, 1999.  At 6am.  I gave him a ring.  I was also naked.  Again, shameless.

5:  We are both Scorpios.  He’s 2 years older than me, but our birthdays are 3 days apart.

Five Things We Have In Common
1:  Science fiction.  One of our favourite TV channels is “Space” (the Canadian Sci-Fi network).  We both love Doctor Who and Torchwood.  We watched the newer Star Wars movies together.  And we borrowed each other science fiction books, like Dune and Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.  We’re just a couple of nerds in love.

2:  Our taste in music.  We love our 80s music and our pop music.  Debbie Gibson, SClub7, The Cranberries, Flock of Seagulls…  Goodness, we sound old, don’t we?

3:  How we hoard and value our privacy.  Our home is our sanctuary.  We don’t often entertain because we don’t want people “invading” our space.  Yes, we’re weird that way.  Get outta my house!

4:  Our hatred of the colour beige.  When we moved into our house, every wall was beige.  And depressing.  We’re eradicating them all with the colour white… and blue… and red.

5:  Our love of things natural and organic.  I was going to say ‘our love of chocolate’ which would be equally true.  But we like to stay healthy and free of chemicals and pesticides.  Roomie even grew an organic garden in our backyard with compost we made!

Five Things We Do NOT Have In Common
1:  Sports.  I am the sports fan.  Shocking, eh?  I was a hockey fan since the age of 12.  I can follow football plays.  Roomie thinks its a waste of time watching organized sport.  Apparently, it will be me taking our son to his first Winnipeg Jets hockey game.  Yes, I enjoy these Cool Mom experiences once in a while.

2:  I am an early bird while he is a night owl.  I will wake at 6am no matter what time I go to bed, but by 6pm, I’m crashing.  Roomie, on the other hand, will stay up to all hours to watch tv or do his projects, and he will sleep till noon if left to his devices.  Case in point, right now it’s midnight, my eyes are crossing, and my bed’s calling to me.  Ugh!

3:  I am a minimalist at heart while he loves to keep stuff.  I have no problem getting rid of my stuff (except books!) to live simply and have less to clean.  He has trouble parting with things that have sentimental value.  I understand, but sometimes I just want to set fire to all the contents of my house!

4:  Our taste in music.  Okay, I said we have our music in common, but sometimes I look in our CD collection and wonder who in the world this guy is I married.  He loves Alan Parsons and harpsicord music, while I just want music I can dance to.  I will also sing to Kelly Clarkson and Jessica Simpson.  Sadly, he refuses to do that.

5:  Camping — I hate it while he loves it.  It’s cold, dark and scary.  He would love to stay for weeks out in the cold, dark and scary.  Seriously, weeks.  I’m a city girl who loves her spas, modern plumbing, and green teas.  He will lie out in the cold to look at stars, I would prefer to sink into my warm duvet and hang about… drinking green teas.

Five Things That We Believe in as a Couple
1:  If we hadn’t found each other, we would probably have good separate lives, but we wouldn’t be as happy as we are now together.  Totally.

2:  Trust is key.  If one of us ever had an affair, our marriage would be over because we could never trust each other again.  Of course, my pretend boyfriend Gerard Butler doesn’t count.  😉

3:  We are a team.  At everything.  He takes care of outdoor home maintenance, while I do indoor home maintenance.  He entertains the kids, while I make dinner.  He handles one child, while I handle the other.  Of course that’s easier because we have two kids.  We’d be screwed if we’d had more.

4:  We celebrate our closeness and attraction to one another.  We are always hugging, holding hands, grabbing butts, kissing, winking, calling each other “hot stuff”, etc.  Yeah, we’re disgusting, but it reassures our kids that their folks love each other and that finding a loving and fulfilling partnership is a great thing.

5:  We are each other’s best friend.  Roomie is the first person I want to talk to when I’m feeling low, have bad news, or when something really awesome has happened.  We love to just hang out with each other, whether he’s on the computer while I’m in the same room watching TV, or he’s watching a movie while I’m knitting on the couch beside him.  We’re good on our own, but together, the sun shines a little brighter, and life is complete.

* This is a different take on a post I recently wrote for my blog.

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Nenette Alejandria Mayor is a Canadian-raised Filipina, cool mom, loving wife, freelance blogger, occasional hula dancer/instructor, and recovering engineer.  She talks about her sweet life on her lifestyle blog LifeCandy.net and frequently stalks her favourite people on Twitter at @NenetteAM.