Already? 8 months already this week? Yes! We kick off the 8th month this week. The past months have been one hell of an emotional and physical rollercoaster, but my 7th month was the most challenging. Here’s a quick rundown of what’s currently going on.
The bad things: (I am not going to sugarcoat the bad things because this is reality!)
More tired – I can’t walk long distances anymore. Walking around the grocery for an hour used to be a pleasure, now it’s not.
Tight in the tummy – I was prescribed a uterine relaxant because my uterus was getting stressed out or something last week. It was hardening, Braxton-Hicks in a weird way. It’s too soon to give birth. I’m much better now, thank goodness. My tummy is back to normal and I don’t feel as tight.
More easily irritated – My patience with the littlest things is shortening, getting hot-headed now. I have to work harder at relaxing. Ironic huh? I blame it on the hormones.
Ugly. – My belly looks like a spiderweb of stretchmarks. My cheeks make me look like a chipmunk. I’m running out of clothes to wear, but don’t want to buy new ones because I’m giving birth soon. Because I feel down a lot, I feel it reflects on my looks too. Good self-esteem is hard to hold on to, honestly.
“I wish I weren’t so helpless.” – I miss puttering around the house without getting tired. Getting up in the middle of the night to pee (and it happens 3-4 times) is a struggle now with my added weight.
“I’m not yet ready.” – There’s still a lot on my to-do list for the baby that I have not done. The perfectionist in me is screaming “What are you waiting for!?!?!” and the realist in me is screaming back “I’m too tired to do anything!!!”
Resting more – Because I get more stressed out easily, I have to relax more. I try to go home earlier if all the work for the day is done. On weekends, I choose to stay at home than do my usual malling.
Trying to learn how to delegate – This has always been a struggle of mine, pregnant or not. I like doing things a particular way, but the truth is I can’t do everything myself. So I’m carefully letting go of things I can no longer do myself.
RAWR! But it’s not all bad, okay? There are more good days than there are bad days, honestly. The negativity of bad days is hard to deal with, but with the support of loved ones, friends, and H, each day gets easier. Now let’s look at the happier side of this rollercoaster:
The good things:
Amazed and amused. – I think of this growing baby inside me and it just moves me to tears. His movements are getting more obvious. I see my tummy make waves and have pointed corners now. He responds to my voice and my caresses, and it’s just an AMAZING feeling. It’s like your heart wants to explode.
Blessed. – My close friends know that I’ve been waiting for this beautiful blessing to come into my life for a long time. Someday I’ll share my Trying-to-Conceive journey with you. Each time I feel my baby kick, and each time I see a new stretch mark grow, I’m just honestly grateful and thankful to the universe, to God, for this baby blessing. To be a mother was always my ultimate dream. It’s not to be CEO of some company or a famous author, but to be a Mother. I am very thankful I am experiencing pregnancy now and will experience motherhood for real soon.
Excited. – You know who I’m excited for? Naturally, H and myself. But other than us, I’m super excited for my parents! Timmy is their first grandchild. I love it when my Mom feels Timmy kicking. I love it when my Dad tells stories of how he’s going to be “kulit” or silly with Timmy. I am truly excited for them. So excited I want to cry. Hormones again, yes.
“I can’t wait to meet you.” – I am just so excited. I see H playing with the baby doll in birth class and I know we’ll be a good family for Timmy. He’ll be a good baby, I am certain, and I cannot wait to say “Hello” to this wee one.
“I’ll be the best Mom I can be.” – I talk to Timmy a lot when we’re alone. I tell him my worries and the possibilities we’ll have together. I’m absolutely clueless about motherhood but I believe I will do the best I can. I have to. I want to. I need to. This is all for the baby boy I’ll love forever and ever and ever.
Getting my baby bag together. It’s halfway done. I aim to complete it this week and just place it in the car. If I place it in the hallway, we’ll probably forget about it. So better to put the bag in the car already!
Writing in my baby journal more. I keep a handwritten journal for Timmy, which I hope to share with him when he’s old enough to appreciate it. I write to him about family, about what I’m feeling, about my journey with him. Writing online is more convenient, but writing by hand is still more personal. It’ll make a good gift to him someday.
Seeing my OB every two weeks now. As the 8th month comes, I will see him more frequently. I always look forward to my OB visits because I get more and more enlightened about what’s happening to my body and the baby.
Graduated from birth class last weekend! The past 6 Sundays have been very educational. I will miss sharing stories with my classmates and I do hope we still stay in touch. I’ll write about the wonderful benefits of birth class separately.
There you go. 7 months in a huge nutshell. Now that July is all about celebrating 8 months of pregnancy, I hope hope hope that things continue to go smoothly and happily.