There were days in grade school and high school when I would spend a whole lunch hour in the library because I didn’t have anyone to spend lunch with. It seems rather lonely now, but back then, I didn’t feel lonely. It was solace more than loneliness.
Truthfully, I first went to the library to hide. Being seen alone during breaks meant you were weird. Go figure out the harshness of kids, huh? I got labeled “loner” and “nerd” a lot. It really hurt my feelings and they drove me to hide in the library even more. The hiding turned out to be good for me though. I may not have made a lot of good friends early on, but I did begin nurturing one of my first loves — reading.
I would read anything — adventure books, text books, poetry, short stories, encyclopedias. I even remember going through the card catalog and looking for interesting titles. The books kept me company. At the times I felt most alone, especially in high school, I knew I could always turn to a good book and feel comforted.
Over time, it began to feel less like hide-and-seek and more like home. Home in the midst of peer pressure and the unforgiving high school caste system. Home in the midst of cliques and clubs. The library always welcomed me, and the books seemed to always embrace me. I had my little quiet cove.
Eventually I did find good friends to have lunch with everyday. They were wonderful girls who didn’t scoff at my love for reading, even though music, dance and boys interested them more. From time to time though, I’d skip lunch with them and go back to my favorite lunch dates — the many books in the library. I’d hide behind shelves where the books and I would share our own secrets.
There are no good libraries where I live now, so I go to bookstores. It’s not as homey as that school library (and definitely not easy on the pocket), but the mountains of books give me a sense of comfort. I run to my favorite bookstore especially when I need solace, when that school girl in me wants to hide from the rest of the world. So if you can’t find me, I’m probably curled up in a hidden corner behind a shelf, lost in a good book, cocooned till I’m ready to face the world again.
Did you have any solitary hiding place when you were in school? I’d love to hear your story.
Hi! I'm Toni Tiu,
and I've been blogging at
at Wifely Steps since 2003. This started as a blog to help newly weds adjust to married life. It has evolved into a home and parenting blog. I write about things close to my heart -- good eats, good reads, family, marriage, and the little things that make everyday happy.
witsandnuts
November 19, 2008 at 12:15 pm (15 years ago)I can’t imagine and didn’t expect that you were termed ‘nerd’ and ‘loner’ then. My hiding place when I was younger was in the library, too. Also, I felt comfort being in the science lab and editorial room when I was in highschool. =)
notsquare
November 19, 2008 at 1:19 pm (15 years ago)it’s like you stole the story out of my heart…
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sheng
November 19, 2008 at 1:47 pm (15 years ago)I frequented the library too, but not that much, and I had friends that kept my lunching and munching with company. Books were introduced to me while I was in grade school and I started with a Nancy Drew, until I kept up with Hardy Boys and Sweet Valley Kids, Twins, High, and in high school, I upgraded them to some Sweet Valley University, until I met Sidney Sheldon, and John Grisham and Leon Uris and Og Mandino, and so many others…my little room I shared with my sisters was were I was curled up, reading.
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pat
November 19, 2008 at 3:10 pm (15 years ago)i often escaped to the library too when i had no lunchmate. in gradeschool i would borrow nancy drew books every week. there were times also when i would rush through my lunch so i could go to the lib. btw, now i’m so hooked on twilight! better late than never. tee hee
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nina
November 19, 2008 at 4:24 pm (15 years ago)back in college, if we wanted to “study” or sometimes hangout – we go to the filipiniana section of the library because there are less people there
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kreez
November 19, 2008 at 5:24 pm (15 years ago)I think the library has always been my go to place since i went to school, i was lucky enough to have friends who also enjoy the library so we hang out there a lot. In fact when i was in elementary, i was in the library a lot that the librarian and I became friends and she asked me to be a “ninang” to her first born. I felt weird (coz I was just 12 then) but i agreed. It’s sad that after we graduated from the University, we seldom get to go to a library anymore.
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joshua
November 19, 2008 at 5:46 pm (15 years ago)Seriously?, you were dubbed weird. Wow, I’m 12 and I’m guessing the social outcast in my batch will most be like you when she grows up. And, wow, you must be really old if your time still used card catalogs, everyone uses OPAC now.
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Rach (Heart of Rachel)
November 19, 2008 at 6:16 pm (15 years ago)I always craved for company back then. I just didn’t like being alone. I could never eat alone and I hated walking to class alone. However in HS, when something happened that tore me away from friends, I remember how I would find solace in the library.
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glenville
November 19, 2008 at 10:29 pm (15 years ago)hehe, glad to think i am not alone (no pun intended)
my secret hideaway was our school paper’s office in high school. it wasn’t really an office – more like an unused corner in a semi-attic. it was so small and the ceiling so low, you have to sort of half-stand inside the room. but it was where this nerd slept, ate lunch and basically hid from the rest of the world. but i had tons of fun in that room together with my co-nerds, high school was a blast because of that hahaha!
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michelle
November 20, 2008 at 12:09 am (15 years ago)Back in college, I used to go to the library just to chill out because our library is fully air-conditioned. I even dozed off while reading books. hehehe…
You must be a strong woman because you survive to be a loner once in your life. I cannot do things or go anywhere alone even until now. I remember when I was in high school, the boys in our class asked why we (girls) cannot go to the comfort room alone. And we would just respond, “It’s a girl thing!”
mari
November 20, 2008 at 1:42 am (15 years ago)i started my library habit when i was in the 4th grade. nancy drew’s fault. i saw my classmate reading a nancy drew hardbound which she borrowed from the library. I got curious and so off i went to the library get myself one. and since, i was hooked.
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pistachio
November 20, 2008 at 8:58 am (15 years ago)I practically lived in my grade school library, spending all my recess and lunch breaks there. Since we could only borrow 2 books at a time, I’d max out my library card by borrowing 2 books during recess, reading them during lessons, returning them at lunch time, then borrowing 2 more books to take home. Same cycle for the next day and the next, till I had run out of books to read, save the encyclopedias.
The saddest day of my childhood was when Harrison Plaza (the mall nearest our house) burned down, taking with it my favorite National Bookstore branch. I imagined all those precious books going up in flames, and when the fire was finally put out, there was nothing left of National Bookstore. I cried and cried and cried.
kaoko
November 20, 2008 at 9:49 am (15 years ago)It’s sad that visiting the library has stopped being a part of my life when I graduated school. Getting my first library card in fifth grade was like opening a new world. While I used to read a lot of books in the lib even before then, getting that library card was a sign that I was growing up because I could finally take books out.
Oh gawsh, I just realized I have a gajillion library stories too. I feel like this calls for a separate blog post.
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jeanny
November 20, 2008 at 9:55 am (15 years ago)So that’s the reason why you love reading so much
Libraries were part of my childhood and because I love going to libraries, my mom was so proud of me because she does not spend big bucks on my tetxbook…hehehe.
ibyang
November 21, 2008 at 4:38 am (15 years ago)the library is my solace too! and because i loved it so much, i volunteered to work there during lunch break and after classes during my elementary years. the joy of “communing” with books is heaven to me.
i onced wrote about my love for the library here:
http://awifescharmedlife.blogspot.com/2007/09/when-was-last-time-youve-been-to.html
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