Baby #2’s on the brain — well, my brain sometimes, not my husband’s. Yet. I think. The topic has been thrown around casually over the past month.
Scenario 1:
Husband: “Timmy, do you want a baby sister?”
Me: “Yes!”
Husband: “…”
Scenario 2:
Husband: “Paano na kaya kung apat tayo?” (I wonder how things will turn out when we’re a family of four?)
Me: “Yikes!”
Scenario 3:
Me: “Do you think we’re ready for another baby?”
Husband: “No.”
Scenario 4:
Husband: “Do you think we’re ready for another baby?”
Me: “Notyet.”
It’s seem pretty obvious from the above scenarios that we’re not ready now, but that doesn’t mean we’re not considering building a bigger family.
Another thing is I don’t think one is ever really ready for a baby. Babies take you by surprise in their own little ways. Timmy was a huge surprise to us and we certainly weren’t prepared then.
How did you know you were ready to start trying for a second baby?
It’d be great for my toddler to have a sibling. I grew up with two sisters and it’s like automatically having two best friends. It wasn’t always like that though with a gazillion cat fights between us but I’d like to think our relationships with one other are quite solid. I can imagine Timmy being a Kuya (older brother). It’d be nice that they would have each other when my husband and I are much older.
Then there’s my age. I’m nearing my mid-thirties and don’t want a high-risk pregnancy. My first pregnancy went really smoothly, save for two weeks of bed rest. It was a time of bliss for me, but I didn’t have a toddler back then. If I get pregnant a second time, how would I manage taking care of an active toddler too?
Maybe we are ready, we just don’t know it. The clock is ticking and we can’t keep throwing the topic around casually though. Maybe we should just go for it. Maybe we should plan not to plan. Maybe. I think.
Hi! I'm Toni Tiu,
and I've been blogging at
at Wifely Steps since 2003. This started as a blog to help newly weds adjust to married life. It has evolved into a home and parenting blog. I write about things close to my heart -- good eats, good reads, family, marriage, and the little things that make everyday happy.
Candice
January 7, 2011 at 1:21 pm (13 years ago)I think of that all the time. But the fantasy of a new baby is so different from the reality of having one — even when all heavenly delightfulness that comes with a baby is considered. So in the meantime, I work on lots of playdates and try to work on the social skills because only kids can be so isolated from peers.
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eds
January 7, 2011 at 1:52 pm (13 years ago)hindi ko din alam, how to determine kung ready na ba ako. minsan naiisip ko bahala na. maraming beses na rin naming napapag usapan pero kapag naiisip ko yong pain ng paglabor, natatakot na rin ako eh.
eds´s last blog post ..Revisiting 2010 and a hopeful start for 2011
Topaz Mommy
January 7, 2011 at 11:48 pm (13 years ago)I knew I wanted another baby when my Vito lost his newborn smell! That would be when he was a month old! And if you met me a year or so ago, I sure didn’t want anything baby! My hubby wants another one too. Kasi you’re right–you’re never really ready for a kid–but since the hubby and I embraced the fact and are doing quite well with this whole parenting business, might as well go for another one! I’m 34 na! We don’t want to be in wheelchairs on our kids’ weddings!
Topaz Mommy
January 7, 2011 at 11:54 pm (13 years ago)Oops, wrong URL. Replacing my comment
I knew I wanted another baby when my Vito lost his newborn smell! That would be when he was a month old! And if you met me a year or so ago, I sure didn’t want anything baby! My hubby wants another one too. Kasi you’re right–you’re never really ready for a kid–but since the hubby and I embraced the fact and are doing quite well with this whole parenting business, might as well go for another one! I’m 34 na! We don’t want to be in wheelchairs on our kids’ weddings!
Lissa
January 8, 2011 at 12:10 am (13 years ago)The question never ends ‘no? With me though, I’m a planner, especially for big life events so deciding to have a 2nd kid was not a fleeting decision. I wanted to wait until Connor turned 2 at least. I had a c-section so I wanted to make sure my scars and whatever else were healed. I also wanted to find another job. At the time, I was patiently applying. Now that I got the job I wanted, I wanted to wait a couple months so that when the baby is born, I’ve been working there for a year. That’s mainly for benefits reason. Haha.. talagang anal no? I know for sure we’re ready now. I wanted the 2nd kid before I turned 35 and we only want 2 kids total. Connor is already three so timing is right. I know people have their own reasons but like Candice said reality and fantasy are 2 different things. I’m already expecting that things will change drastically when the 2nd baby comes.
Ate B
January 8, 2011 at 3:19 am (13 years ago)“I want one more,” one of the first phrases I blurted out in the delivery room the minute I gave birth to my first child. But with the sleepless nights that followed it seemed having a second kid was out of the question. Eventually it got easier and more fun (same stage you’re in now right? heehee) So earlier this year when I talked to your Kuya J it was clear that we wanted another. Didn’t really take too long though and here we are awaiting our 2nd. We know it’s not going to be easy the first year, especially with a toddler. But we know it’s going to be lot more fun. Unfortunately there is a clock ticking. So if you really want a bigger family, the best time’s always sooner than later. Just let us know when another pamangkin is on the way
Nenette
January 8, 2011 at 9:29 am (13 years ago)I think the fact that you’ve been discussing it so much is a sign that you’re “almost” ready.
xo
In my case, I had my son at 32, then my daughter at 34, before I became high-risk. I became pregnant with #2 while #1 was 15 months old. I was in “baby mode” and was able to deal with diapers all at once and get it over with in one shot. Plus, two years turned out to be the perfect age gap. They’re playmates and friends. I’ve had no regrets.
It’s good to wait till you’re ready, but try not to wait too long.
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Mom-Friday
January 8, 2011 at 6:31 pm (13 years ago)your blog is wonderful! i am now a follower
as for your topic…
I now have 2 beautiful kids and the timing was just perfect for us. The second was planned, and we agreed that once my son turns 2, we will try for our second anytime after that. Today my second child, a girl, is 4 y.o. My son turned 7. You will both feel if you are ready and would want another baby. But for women, age does matter and you have to condition yourself about this. good luck and wish you your family the best
cessna
January 10, 2011 at 7:42 am (13 years ago)“Babies take you by surprise in their own little ways.”
I can’t agree more. See my head bob up and down, up and down.
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Mommah Love
January 11, 2011 at 3:29 pm (13 years ago)no one is ready for a baby that’s for sure. babies, like us, are humans too and very unpredictable. I read in a book “Shepherding a Child’s Heart” by Tedd Tripp, saying that our children’s character is not only shaped by us but also by how they respond.
Mommy Lace
January 11, 2011 at 11:57 pm (13 years ago)In my dreams and I always say, if I win the lottery – I would have another baby now. Yet, I think will enjoy my little boy first, and cuddle him until he’s already sick of me. I want to give each child my 100% attention
Babies really are addicting!
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Kay
January 12, 2011 at 9:38 am (13 years ago)My son is turning 6. I’m still not ready for baby # 2. I admire your courage.
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chelsea
January 12, 2011 at 3:43 pm (13 years ago)I’m had some thought recently when I attended the baptism of my sister-in-law son. It was nice to imagine having another kid in your family. My sister-in-law asked my 1 year and 4 months old daughter if she wanted to have a baby brother/sister, and my daughter said yes and we laugh.
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A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take. – — Cardinal Mermillod
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manilamommy
January 18, 2011 at 5:35 pm (13 years ago)oh wow i just did a post on this too!!! (http://manilamommy.com/2011/01/planning-kid/) i didn’t know if i’m ready and i still have so many hesitations, reading through the comments though gave me a lot to consider and think about 😀
good luck to us!!
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