How else can you smell the roses?

by

Surround yourself with happy people. Try it. Don’t you just feel the positive energy around you? I’m sure you’ll feel lighter.

Now surround yourself with people who constantly say bad things about others and complain about every little thing. Try it. Don’t you just feel the negative energy around you? I’m sure you’ll feel heavier.

It’s only natural for us to fall into the trap of bad moods. Hey, we’re only human. We have emotions. The key lies in knowing how to manage your emotions.

To be pessimistic because of a failed project is understandable. To be spiteful because you got hurt by someone is natural. To be angry because you had a bad day is manageable. But to spread rumours for the heck of it? To say bad things about others just for kicks? To be so negative about other people’s taste in clothes, music or movies just because you have a different fashion sense? To make fun of others because they have the confidence to wear sexy clothes even if they’re overweight? To spite others even if they weren’t doing anything to harm others?

When my companions start doing the above things, I cringe because I hurt for those they’re making fun of. I cringe because they had no fault. Where’s the fun in making “lait” a girl who’s flabby and wears a bikini? I don’t see the fun in that. I even admire the girl for having such confidence to don it. It’s her life, it’s her body. Why not look at the beautiful sunset instead? Why not appreciate the glistening sea?

I’m no saint. There were times I laughed along with my companions because I didn’t want to be a goody two-shoes, because I still wanted to be part of the group. But then I thought, hey, I’m not a teenager anymore. I shouldn’t fall prey to peer pressure. I have my own mind.

So I decided to speak it. Or not speak it.

Now when my companions go on “lait” mode, I just tune out. I put on my headset and go about my work. Or if they’re becoming really spiteful, for example, they’re making fun of a certain person’s taste in music, I just go, “I happen to like that music too.” And that’s because I really did like that type of music — they were dissing ’70’s OPM. Other times I just keep quiet and drink my iced tea.

I still fall into that trap every now and then. But when I catch myself doing so, I stop immediately. Nobody’s going to pull me out of that trap but myself.

While I love my companions, the negative energy can be draining. Again, the key lies in managing emotions, in managing these kinds of activities.

If I feel negatively about something or someone, I let myself feel bad, hurt, sad, whatever. Nothing productive happens if I don’t acknowledge my emotions. After that is over, I bounce back. Now if I fall into a circle of negativity, I step out of it.

There are more important things in life than to spite others, especially those who have done nothing to fault you or your loved ones. Just let them be. Let them be. Let them be and you’ll enjoy life more. That works for me.

2 Comments on How else can you smell the roses?

  1. BabyPink
    May 8, 2005 at 7:34 pm (19 years ago)

    very, very well said, miss toni! that was a really nice read.:)

    sometimes nga lang, i can’t help but think it’s human nature to be mapanlait or natural or normal to filipinos, at least. it makes me sad,promise! but, people like you prove it’s not! people like you make me smile.:)

    Reply
  2. Toni
    May 9, 2005 at 9:49 am (19 years ago)

    Diane: *hugs to a dear friend* Rex Box. Red Box. LOL!

    Reply

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