1. When you cry out of grief, are you crying for yourself or for the loved one you lost? The past week has been emotionally draining for me. We had our final services for Wowo, whose ashes were brought here to Manila by Mama and Maymee. I thought I had accepted his passing, but I broke down in tears after Mass last Monday. I saw a Knorr Sinigang sa Calamansi commercial that had an old couple and they reminded me so much of my grandparents — they were that sweet to each other. I realized that I still had Wowo’s cellphone number in my phonebook. I know I should be happy because he is at peace now, but I still cry out of sadness.
2. Do you believe in miracles? During yesterday’s final service, Wowo’s picture was placed on the altar beside his urn. After the Mass, Mama shared that she saw a halo over Wowo’s head during the service. The nuns at the service said they also saw the same thing. Maymee saw it too. Nobody wanted to tell one another for fear of it being just a hallucination, but once Mama brought it up they all started saying that they saw the same thing. I was taking pictures the whole service so I immediately checked my digicam. I had only one picture of the altar with Wowo’s picture on it. True enough, there was a halo. It could’ve been a reflection of light but I recalled that there were no candles or bright lights when I took that picture. We passed the picture around and Maymee got teary-eyed when Mama assured her that, “See? Wowo’s telling you that he’s okay! He’s in Heaven with the angels!” I believe that is where he is right now and that picture was a message.
3. What’s the biggest thing you learned about losing a loved one? Live life. I’ve always said that was my life’s philosophy but sometimes I forget about it. Don’t be scared to try new things. Don’t be afraid to reveal your feelings for others, no matter how embarrassing. Life’s too short to be afraid. Nobody ever got anywhere by not facing their fears. I got over another fear of mine this week: getting highlights for my hair. I had my hair cut REALLY short and had Armel (my favorite stylist) talk me into getting highlights. The result? A very short ‘do with lots of spunk. I LOVE IT.
4. Can those who’ve passed away communicate to you through your dreams? I’ve been dreaming about Wowo several times. They all had the message of prayer and assurance of his peace. Maybe it’s a message that I shouldn’t be too sad anymore.
5. How would you like to be remembered? I wonder how I will be remembered when I pass away. I used to think that talking about death is morbid, a topic that should be avoided. But the passing on of Wowo has assured me that death is nothing to be afraid of. It’s a part of life and we all eventually are gonna die. It’s what we do while we are living that matters the most. I hope I will be remembered as someone who has made a positive difference in people’s lives, even though I’m not rich or famous. I share what I can through this blog AND beyond this blog so many of my life experiences that I hope benefit others. Even though it’s as simple as boiling an egg to something as complex as risking so much for love, I hope that these life experiences do touch the lives of others and create a significantly good difference in their lives.
It’s been a long week full of questions and realizations. This is the first time I’ve lost someone very dear to me, and your answers to the above questions would really help me continue to deal with my sadness. As much as I share what I learn with you, I also learn so much from you. Thank you so much for the emotional support. *hugs*
Hi! I'm Toni Tiu,
and I've been blogging at
at Wifely Steps since 2003. This started as a blog to help newly weds adjust to married life. It has evolved into a home and parenting blog. I write about things close to my heart -- good eats, good reads, family, marriage, and the little things that make everyday happy.